Quarter 4 Reflection

Sunsets of Fourth. 

The Sky's not the Limit; Footprints are on the Moon!

Limit. Perhaps the most painful word to hear is "limit". I never, ever in my life, imagine myself being so attached to many people as if my soul has always been looking for them. I have never thought I would be feeling this joy that fills every corner in me. And I have never imagined myself to be so caring for them. 

But sadly, limits exist. 

Time is indefinite. Time is limitless. Time is a continued sequence from past, present, and into the future. 

Would it be a bad thing if I ask for more time? Would it be too much if I want those two hands to stop for a moment and just let me live in the moment? Would it be back to wish time would go back? 

But sadly, time will never, ever go back. It's irreversible. That's perhaps the bad thing about time— infinite, but irreversible. 

Throughout the shortened school year, everything was fine for me. Everything worked properly. I even feel great because I have learned not to be too much to myself. I have learned that not everything that we want will come to us. Something, we must be the one to go to the things that we want. We must learn to find the happiness that's within us, not within others. I have many realizations. Quarter 4 gave me a lot to remember. 

Starting to when I felt too chill. Because of thinking there's still tomorrow, I started to develop a habit I would never want to have: mañana habit. I started thinking I'd do things tomorrow, but still won't do it the next day, and would end up saying the same thing again for the next day. 

I also felt sad sometimes because there were times that I chose to isolate because of my personal problems. I chose to push people away from me, fearing that they'd see through me and feel pity for me. The least thing I want people to feel for me is pity. I don't want them to see how bad I struggle sometimes because society has decided to look at me as though I don't have any baggage to carry. 

But sometimes, it bugs me. Loneliness bugs me. The fact that I don't have the courage to let it all out drains me. Thanks to that person, I learned to overcome the fear of being judged. 

Of course, I have learned a lot academically. Precalculus was fine. Research in Mathematics was fine. English was good. Science was a bit tough, but was still fine. Math was okay. Performance Outputs in Mapeh was tiring, but fun. Esp, ICT, Filipino, and AP were good. 

Maybe the most tiring problem I have encountered during the span of Quarter 4 is my personal problems, especially the one that's happening in my circle of friends. There's a little misunderstanding that has lead to deeper problem. One decided to push himself away, while the rest tries to go after him, until the rest was tired of chasing. 

However, I have come to realize the importance of knowing self-worth. I have learned to build a mindset of "if they wanna leave, let them. if they wanna stay, let them." Also, I think I have learned that communication isn't only the key. Comprehension also matters. 

I also had to let people go because they didn't want to stay with me anymore. There's no pushing in staying. If you stay, then stay. If you want to stay, then stay. Stay especially at my worst. 

Moving on, I will carry all the things that I have learned from first quarter to this final quarter as the doors to Senior High School open. I hope to forget all the bad things that happened and let go of the things that are making me stay in the dark place that I have been trying to go out of. I hope to meet new opportunities. I hope to still be friends with my friends.