Quarter 4 Reflection

Sunsets of Fourth. 

The Sky's not the Limit; Footprints are on the Moon!

Limit. Perhaps the most painful word to hear is "limit". I never, ever in my life, imagine myself being so attached to many people as if my soul has always been looking for them. I have never thought I would be feeling this joy that fills every corner in me. And I have never imagined myself to be so caring for them. 

But sadly, limits exist. 

Time is indefinite. Time is limitless. Time is a continued sequence from past, present, and into the future. 

Would it be a bad thing if I ask for more time? Would it be too much if I want those two hands to stop for a moment and just let me live in the moment? Would it be back to wish time would go back? 

But sadly, time will never, ever go back. It's irreversible. That's perhaps the bad thing about time— infinite, but irreversible. 

Throughout the shortened school year, everything was fine for me. Everything worked properly. I even feel great because I have learned not to be too much to myself. I have learned that not everything that we want will come to us. Something, we must be the one to go to the things that we want. We must learn to find the happiness that's within us, not within others. I have many realizations. Quarter 4 gave me a lot to remember. 

Starting to when I felt too chill. Because of thinking there's still tomorrow, I started to develop a habit I would never want to have: mañana habit. I started thinking I'd do things tomorrow, but still won't do it the next day, and would end up saying the same thing again for the next day. 

I also felt sad sometimes because there were times that I chose to isolate because of my personal problems. I chose to push people away from me, fearing that they'd see through me and feel pity for me. The least thing I want people to feel for me is pity. I don't want them to see how bad I struggle sometimes because society has decided to look at me as though I don't have any baggage to carry. 

But sometimes, it bugs me. Loneliness bugs me. The fact that I don't have the courage to let it all out drains me. Thanks to that person, I learned to overcome the fear of being judged. 

Of course, I have learned a lot academically. Precalculus was fine. Research in Mathematics was fine. English was good. Science was a bit tough, but was still fine. Math was okay. Performance Outputs in Mapeh was tiring, but fun. Esp, ICT, Filipino, and AP were good. 

Maybe the most tiring problem I have encountered during the span of Quarter 4 is my personal problems, especially the one that's happening in my circle of friends. There's a little misunderstanding that has lead to deeper problem. One decided to push himself away, while the rest tries to go after him, until the rest was tired of chasing. 

However, I have come to realize the importance of knowing self-worth. I have learned to build a mindset of "if they wanna leave, let them. if they wanna stay, let them." Also, I think I have learned that communication isn't only the key. Comprehension also matters. 

I also had to let people go because they didn't want to stay with me anymore. There's no pushing in staying. If you stay, then stay. If you want to stay, then stay. Stay especially at my worst. 

Moving on, I will carry all the things that I have learned from first quarter to this final quarter as the doors to Senior High School open. I hope to forget all the bad things that happened and let go of the things that are making me stay in the dark place that I have been trying to go out of. I hope to meet new opportunities. I hope to still be friends with my friends.

My Dream, My Future

 Sketching What's Ahead Of Me.

I have always visualized myself wearing a semi-formal outfit with a hard hat on, any boots that would match with my outfit, and a high-visibility clothing that glows and ensures others that I am on the site. How did I even get this visuality? It was too early for me to dream something this much— no, scratch that. It was too early for me to build a dream that I never thought I'd like this much.

How did I even build that dream when I come from a family of educators? All of my aunts and uncles work to educate; they nurture every seed planted on every seat occupied by every dreamers like me. They teach.

 

And then suddenly I was born. Someone who belongs to a family of teachers just dreamed of not being a teacher, but being an engineer. To picture it out, imagine a basket full of red apples then suddenly, a gardener puts a green one on the basket. The basket looks awful for someone like me who gets easily bothered when something just don't fit in somewhere.

Back to my dream. 

"Libre ang mangarap." is what teachers, specifically the elementary teachers, often say everytime they ask their students about things like dreams. Maybe the teachers think the students worry of the challenges or obtacles their dreams may give them or put them in. Maybe saying that line makes the teachers think that they ease the students' feelings so that they can say to the class how they see themselves in the future. 

Since then, the line became their favorite words, like a favorite lyrics on a song. How bittersweet it is; at first, the line eases the fear of dreaming too high, but as time passes by, the significance or the meaning of the line fades away. 

I once was a child who believed that way too; that dreaming doesn't cost any penny. But as I was being put in different society, my perspective changes slowly. 

Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na libre ang mangarap. 

Aanhin mo ang pangarap kung hindi mo naman matutupad? Aanhin mo ang mga imahinasyong naiisip mo kung may kapalit palang mga salaping magpapahirap sa buhay mo habang tinutupad ang mga imahinasyong iyon? 

Hindi na libre ang mangarap. 

Yes, that's right. That's how I see everything now. 

I can say that I still imagine myself building a school, or a resort, or just simply my house. I'd love to do that. But as the future approaches, I fear of the obstacles my parents and I would face while reaching for a dream.

In 10 or maybe 15 years, I see myself as someone who wears clean clothes. I see myself as someone who's respected and is respectful. I see myself as someone who works together with her colleagues. 

I'd build houses, schools, restaurants, resorts, and fix roads, and strengthen bridges. 

I'd also design and build my own house located on a not-so-busy town. 

I'd stay on my house with my friends who'd pay time to visit and have a catch up. 

I'd buy myself the things that I wanted using the money I'd saved up, or maybe my salaries. 

I'd be happy living as I had reached my dreams. 

I never actually wanted a grand life, or living on a mansion. I never dreamed of that. I simply just dreamed of achieving my dream job, which is to be a civil engineer, and live a peaceful life. I just want to have my salaries on my early age so that I can enjoy the price of my hardworks. 

But most of all, I see myself 5, 10, or 15 years from now living happily. 

I see myself laughing with my friends sitting on the seashore. 

I see myself fighting the struggles I face. 

I see myself crying because of heartbreaks, or because of failures. 

I see myself getting up stronger than before.

I see myself spending time with my family. 

I see myself going home to someone who I'd spend my life with.

I see myself going out with my high school friends.

I see myself— my soul, free. 

The "marga" right now would be so happy once she meets the future "marga" that she has been building. To the students out there who also busy themselves to reach their dreams, padayon. 

Reference/s:

Blogger:

https://www.blogger.com

Fong, T. (n.d.) A Day In The Life Of A Civil Engineer From Aurecon | Roles, Skills, Advice. Date Retrieved: April 22, 2024. Retrieved from:

https://artofsmart.com.au/engineering/civil-engineer/

Macro, A. Getty Images. (n.d.) What Is Civil Engineering? Date Retrieved: April 22, 2024. Retrieved from:

https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-civil-engineering-4582488

Turner, S. (January 6, 2024). Why Is It Called Civil Engineering. Date Retrieved: April 22, 2024. Retrieved from: 

https://storables.com/diy/planning-engineering/what-is-geomatics-in-civil-engineering/

(n.a.) (n.d.) We Make Buildings Easy. Arbor Homes. Date Retrieved: April 22, 2024. Retrieved from: 

https://yourarborhome.com/building-process

Mother's Day

Motherhood. 

Mother’s Day in the Philippines is not just a day to honor mothers; it’s a celebration deeply ingrained in the fabric of Filipino culture, reflecting the values of love, respect, and gratitude for maternal figures. While Mother’s Day is celebrated globally, the Filipino traditions surrounding this occasion hold a unique significance, blending cultural heritage with heartfelt gestures of appreciation.

One of the most cherished Filipino traditions on Mother’s Day is the practice of "pamamanhikan," which is deeply rooted in the Filipino courtship process. Pamamanhikan is a formal meeting between the families of the bride and groom-to-be, where the groom’s family visits the bride’s home to formally ask for her hand in marriage. On Mother’s Day, this tradition takes on a special meaning as families gather to honor mothers and seek their blessings for important life decisions, such as engagements or marriage proposals. It’s a symbolic gesture of respect and gratitude for the wisdom and guidance that mothers provide.

Another beloved tradition in the Philippines is the act of serenading mothers on Mother’s Day. In many Filipino households, it’s common for family members, especially children, to wake up early and surprise their mothers with songs, poems, or heartfelt messages expressing their love and appreciation. Serenading is a beautiful way to celebrate the maternal bond and create lasting memories filled with love and laughter.

Filipino cuisine also plays a central role in Mother’s Day celebrations. Families often come together to prepare special meals, featuring traditional Filipino dishes that hold sentimental value and evoke memories of home and family. From hearty stews like sinigang and adobo to sweet delicacies like leche flan and bibingka, these dishes not only nourish the body but also nourish the soul, symbolizing the love and care that mothers put into every meal they prepare.

In addition to these traditions, Filipinos also honor mothers through acts of service and generosity. Many families take the opportunity to pamper their mothers with gifts, flowers, or spa treatments, expressing their appreciation for all that they do. Others may choose to volunteer or donate to charitable causes that support mothers and families in need, embodying the spirit of bayanihan, or communal unity, that is deeply ingrained in Filipino culture.

Overall, Mother’s Day in the Philippines is a time-honored tradition that celebrates the unconditional love, sacrifice, and resilience of mothers everywhere. Through cherished customs like pamamanhikan, serenading, and sharing traditional meals, Filipinos express their heartfelt gratitude for the maternal figures who have shaped their lives and nurtured their spirits. In a world that often moves at a hectic pace, Mother’s Day serves as a reminder to pause, reflect, and honor the profound influence of mothers in shaping our identities, our values, and our hearts.

Even though there are many traditions of Filipinos when having Mother's Day Celebration, I often feel sad for my mother. 

I feel bad that I am not as sweet as my siblings. 

I feel bad that I don't know how to show affection for her. 

How I wish I could learn how to do such things but every time I try, I feel like it's too awkward. I just wish there's a way to let her know that behind my cold responses, my cold moods, and my cold heart lies my warm appreciation, love and care for her. I am glad that I came from her womb. I am glad that I get to experience and feel how she takes care of her children. I am glad that I get to see how she defends and protects her children. I am just glad that she's my mother. 

To my mother, 

to my aunts, 

to my grandmothers, 

to my teachers, 

to the fathers out there that plays as the mother too, 

to the old siblings that was forced to be a mother to their younger siblings, 

and to the mother of my circle of friends,

Happy Mother's Day!

Reference/s:

Blogger:

https://www.blogger.com

(n.a.)(April 27, 2023). Unique Gift Ideas for Mother’s Day In The Philippines. Insular Life Corporate Centre. Date Retrieved: April 18, 2024. Retrieved from: 

https://www.insularlife.com.ph/articles/2023-mother-s-day-gift-guide-00000317